


Strength in Feeling

by JeanneRiddle



Series: Animus United [1]
Category: Assassin's Creed - All Media Types
Genre: Anal, Angst, Blow Jobs, Depression, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Torture, M/M, Rimming, Smut, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-30
Updated: 2017-09-05
Packaged: 2018-04-24 02:45:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4902598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JeanneRiddle/pseuds/JeanneRiddle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Altair discovers shortly after taking control of Masyaf that Malik is much quieter than usual and has been taking on a rather odd behavior and sets out to investigate what is wrong with his friend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Damage of a Single Deed

It had hurt greatly: the betrayal of the master. Especially since Al-Mualim had been the closest thing that Altair had to a father. Still, the downfall of his mentor had only made Altair stronger mentally and emotionally. He was now respected by all assassins and was proving to be a just and compassionate leader, lessons of which he had all learned from the nine he had killed before the betrayal. The Order was stronger than ever though it wasn't quite ready to be without aid. Al-Mualim's betrayal had left Masyaf very weak. Malik had been helping Altair improve it, turn its weaknesses to strengths for the past nine weeks, and what nine long weeks they had been.

Though he performed his duties in improving Masyaf well, Malik would sometimes vanish for hours on end and Altair would search for him to no avail. Then Malik would return as if nothing had ever happened. Altair had asked where Malik had been at least a dozen times but the other man always avoided the question, often answering with the word 'out' and leaving it at that. It had hurt Altair that Malik would give no answer more honest than that. Actually, Altair was beginning to fear that Malik was plotting revenge for the death of his brother and the loss of his arm. Altair would accept his punishment without hesitation, but the thought that Malik had never truly forgiven him for Kadar's death was very painful to him considering Malik was the closest thing to a friend that Altair had ever truly had.

Malik had disappeared once again and Altair found himself searching extensively around Masyaf for the man with no success. He tried everything from using vantage points on high buildings to see if he could spot him and even eagle vision. Neither provided him with any clue as to the whereabouts of his friend. There was one place he had not searched. If Malik wasn't there then he would have to be outside of Masyaf. He found himself on a platform and a memory came flashing back to him. This was how it had all started: his enlightenment. He looked down at the haystack sixty feet below him. 

_"Go to God!" he could still hear Al-Mualim's voice say clearly. He closed his eyes and dived off of the platform, landing gracefully in the hay some seconds later._

He remembered everything, the assassin that had broke his leg from the leap, the urgency of the situation. Everything. He carefully made his way across the beams.

This was stupid. Malik only had one arm; how the hell would he be able to climb the tower? He sighed. Well, at least it provided him with some much needed exercise, especially since he had gotten very little since becoming the Grand Master. 

Altair began skillfully climbing the building and soon enough he found himself at the top, and to his surprise he found Malik sitting in the corner across from him, his face buried in his arm with his knees curled close to his body in what looked like an attempt to hide himself from the rest of the world. His body was shaking harshly, his fingers were clenched tightly to his robes so that his knuckles were bright white, and Malik looked as if he may be crying but no sounds came from him. Without saying a word, Altair moved silently to sit down next to him. He glanced over at the man, full of more curiosity and concern than he would prefer considering his cumbersome duties as the Leader of Masyaf.

"How in the world did you manage to get up here?" Altair finally asked, working through his mind any possible way up here. The wall he had just climbed was the only route up to get to the top of the tower. The logs were always hoisted up with a pulley and he was certain that no one had helped him up like that. Malik looked at him with obvious shock, nearly jumping out of his skin with surprise at the company he had not known he had had. 

"I climbed, same as you." Malik answered quickly, pulling his hood up over his eyes so Altair couldn't see his face. His voice was coarse and he cleared his throat before swallowing hard. Altair frowned slightly, wondering if Malik really had been crying.

"Are you truly that strong?" Malik only nodded, tightening his arm around himself out of pain or defense, Altair did not know. He looked at Malik in disbelief. How long had he been training to be so strong that he could climb a building with only three limbs? Altair rested his head back against the wall, letting out a long breath as he closed his eyes. "What's wrong, Malik?" Malik did not answer, quiet as the grave except for his occasional sharp inhale from sobbing. Altair accepted this and sat there silently next to the man. It must've been a good twenty minutes before either of them moved or spoke again.

"I hate myself..." Malik finally uttered in a voice so quiet it could hardly be considered a whisper, curling into an even smaller ball. Altair heard this from very far away. He realized he had drifted off in the long, tense silence. He barely heard the whisper and it took him a moment to process what the Dai had said. He opened his eyes and stared at Malik in shock. Malik was the most noble person he knew. Brave, caring, clever, and exceptionally smart. He was a beacon of inspiration for Altair. He could find no flaws in the man that would make him despise himself.

"What reason would you have to hate yourself? You are the wisest man I know." A bitter laugh tore from Malik's throat but the man did not relax at all, instead he only curled into an impossibly tighter ball.

"Look at me. I'm deformed!" Malik choked, sobbing into his only arm softly while Altair continued to stare at him. Guilt filled his heart. He did regret his reckless actions in Solomon's Temple, more and more with each passing day.

"You are not deformed, Malik." Altair assured with a tender expression, Malik wasn't convinced. The man rubbed his eyes like a child might before glaring defiantly into those molten gold eyes that had been watching him for minutes now.

"Do you know another man who is without one arm? No? See? I am deformed." he reasoned confidently, trying to melt into the corner. Malik wanted nothing more in the whole world than to disappear or maybe just him, but he had responsibilities.

"If you are deformed, Malik, I am as well for I am missing a finger." Altair argued, scooting closer to Malik and holding up his left hand. He frowned when the man scooted even further away from him than before. Perhaps the man did need his space though.

"That is different!" Malik exclaimed, once again burying his face into his only arm. "Every assassin is without that finger, it is how you wield the hidden blade." Malik reminded, voice weak and defeated. Altair's heart clenched, seeing Malik Al-Sayf the Rafiq and Dai of Jerusalem in so much emotional turmoil was more than he could bare. He never imagined that when Malik vanished for several hours that he was crying in a corner, wallowing in self-loathing and pity with no one to help him through his grieving for his past life, the one with the little brother's whose eyes were filled with admiration and the ability to do whatever he pleased with ease. He felt responsible for Malik feeling like the only way he could feel anything was to feel loathing for himself and his situation, alone in a corner many days out of the week.

Altair looked at Malik with a soft expression, trying to shove down the pain and guilt he was feeling towards his friend. "I will not deny that, but why does that make you any different from me?"

"You can conceal your finger; I cannot conceal my arm. People stare at it all the time. They judge me. They see me as a weak cripple who can achieve nothing..." Malik swallowed and began crying in earnest, feeling like he was going to vomit from all the crying he had done. When was the last time he ate? He didn't care. When was the last time he had slept well at all? Had it been that long? When he slept his dreams seemed to be of people taunting and mocking him or a remembrance of the death of his little brother and nothing else.

"You prove all of them wrong every day, Malik. You are a strong, wise, and forgiving man. All should strive to be like you." Altair noticed how pale Malik was. It was definitely unusual, especially for someone with skin as dark as Malik's. His concern grew. "You are the strongest man I know."

"If I'm so strong then why am I crying? You are the strong one, it takes great strength to stand up to those you trust and love. To kill them to protect people you don't even know... I don't have any strength..." Malik whispered, swallowing and squeezing his eyes shut and gritting his teeth in an effort to contain himself. It would be so easy for him to just stand up and dive off the tower into the river two thousand feet below him. He knew the impact would make every bone in his body shatter. It would be a quick death, but nowhere near painless. He didn't want anymore pain and his responsibilities to Masyaf and Altair grounded him to his miserable, meaningless life.

"Tears do not determine the strength of a man. And your willingness to forgive me for all that have I put you through proves that you are stronger than myself. Everything is permitted, Malik, even crying." Altair assured, trying to comfort his friend as best he could. It didn't seem to be very effective in relieving Malik of his burdens, whatever they were. They were silent again for a long while. Finally Altair found a question that he wanted - no - needed to ask. "You said you forgave me nine weeks ago for the mistakes I made in Solomon's Temple, what is it that bothers you about your arm now that didn't then?"

Malik shot Altair a heated glare, one he hadn't directed at him since the day of Kadar's death. "Nothing has changed since I forgave you except that I forgave you." he assured sternly, turning his attention to the gate across from them and staring blankly at it. Altair was quiet again, searching for the right words since he had evidently chosen the wrong ones the moment before. Finally, he found the words he was looking for.

"That which bothers you, confide in me that I may lift this burden for you and help you carry it." Malik grimaced at the word 'help'. Altair had failed again and knew he would have to be more careful if he were to truly help Malik. He tried again choosing his words cautiously. "Find strength in my support, Malik. I wish for nothing more than to see your strength grow, that you might overcome your grief." Malik was silent for a long while as if debating whether or not he wanted to reveal the deepest, darkest depths of his soul. He gave in to the situation, knowing that his confessions would at least help Altair find peace if he could not achieve his own.

"I have not had human contact in so long I have forgotten how it feels." Malik admitted, tugging his legs close to him and clenching his fist again. "I want to be touched, to be loved again, but that's not going to happen. No one will touch me. Besides, a part of me believes I don't deserve to be touched now. I'm a monster after all." 

"I have slain ten monsters recently, Malik, you have nothing in common with them. They were monsters because of their choices, not their appearance. You had no choice in losing your arm. I am more of a monster than you are. I lust for blood; I always have. I became an assassin for the sole purpose of feeling other's lives fade in my arms. My blood lust got Kadar killed, and it has put you in this state. Your pain has tamed my blood lust for I have learned many things from you, I now understand the weight of my actions. I am so sorry for all the pain I have caused you, Malik. I wish I could further amend my actions but I don't know how I would accomplish that."

"I know you are sincere in your apology." Malik assured, swallowing hard. Altair's thoughts were intriguing and he cared deeply about what the Grand Master was feeling, however he could not stop himself from dwelling on his own misery. "No woman will touch me. I haven't been touched since the day we left for that damned temple..." Malik began to sob once more, his cries making his whole body rack uncontrollably. After a moment or two, Malik started retching from lack of oxygen, laying on the floor hopelessly. Altair looked at him with worry, needing to find some way to turn around Malik's sadness. Slowly he stood, looking at the gate. He spied a woman in a very minimal amount of white cloth walking through it. Of course!

"If that's the case, we should remedy that." Malik looked up questioningly, afraid of what his friend may be suggesting. 

"What do you propose?" he asked nervously, treading carefully. He knew how unpredictable Altair could be. It was that same unpredictability that had put him at risk a ridiculous number of times and yet he always followed Altair without question.

"Follow me." Altair murmured and dropped to hang off the ledge. He recalled how he had activated the trap, how he had killed so many Templars with one swing of his sword. That was a long time ago now. Carefully he dropped to the ground, looking up and watching for Malik. Malik reluctantly stood and followed him, wanting to get this over with as soon as possible. His crying had made him exhausted and he just wanted to attempt to sleep. Altair stood by to catch him in case of any mishaps, still worried about his abilities with his condition. Malik made it to the ground safely and Altair guided him through the fortress to the beautiful garden where he had battled Al-Mualim for the safety of the world and the people that lived in it. Many beautiful women surrounded him but they seemed to ignore Malik completely as if he was only Altair's imaginary friend. He watched Malik's gaze. His dark brown eyes looked so lifeless, so hopeless. In fact, Altair could swear that there was no light in the man's eyes at all. Altair followed the gaze to a particular woman. She was beautiful. She had pale skin and long dark curls that hung gracefully above her waist. Altair walked up to her, gently moving the other girls out of the way with ease.

"What is your name?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at the woman. She smiled, stepping close to him

"My name is Aamal." She answered in a sweet voice, her hand resting on his chest and playing with the leather straps that stretched tightly over his muscular chest. "What can I do for you, Grand Master?" she mewled, pressing their hips together. Altair backed up slightly, uncomfortable with what she was offering to him when he had come in search of help for Malik.

"My friend shows interest in you. He requires some aid for it has been a long time since anyone has graced him with even a brush of fingers." Malik winced, suddenly regretting telling Altair of his qualms if all he was going to do was going around telling complete strangers about them. Aamal glanced over at Malik and gawked at him without any sort of subtlety. He shifted uncomfortably under her gaze, knowing what she was thinking. He had seen that look thousands of times now, and the look she gave him was no different.

"I find it hard to believe, Master, that you would be friends with someone as weak as him." she whispered, though loud enough that Malik still heard. Malik tightly closed his eyes, fighting tears. What was he doing here? What purpose did he now serve other than doctoring Masyaf back to strength. He found his current job ironic considering he didn't seem to have any strength of his own.

"Strength does not influence whom I share my friendship with, though if it did, Malik would be my closest friend. He is far stronger than even myself." Aamal glanced at Malik again, as if reconsidering what Altair was asking of her. 

"What is it you wish me to do?" she asked seriously, not taking her eyes off of Malik. Altair smiled with hope, winking at Malik. Malik wasn't as hopeful as he friend seemed to be, in fact he was feeling the nausea from before returning and flipping his stomach around mercilessly.

"Malik is in need of someone to care for, someone who will look up to him without hatred or judgement. I propose you carry his child." Altair felt he knew Malik well enough to know that the darker man did want a child. At one point that had been true, and as Malik thought about it, he realized it was still true. Aamal's jaw dropped in disbelief as she stared at Altair incredulously.

"I'm sorry, Master, I couldn't possibly... not with him. I don't want my child to be a freak." Malik cringed at the word, fighting to keep his composure. Altair frowned, obviously disappointed in Aamal's choice of words, especially since the last thing he ever considered viewing Malik as was a freak. He could sooner imagine the man as a Templar than a freak, though he supposed that to others that word could be one of the first to come to mind.

"He was born with both arms and all fault for the loss of one belongs to me. Your child will be wise and strong, with two arms." he assured the woman sternly. Again, Aamal stared at Malik as if considering whether or not she wanted to make a decision that would ruin her life. Finally, she sighed, glancing back at the Grand Master with defeat.

"How much will I be receiving in payment for my services?" Altair's expression faltered and he regained his own composure. He once again found himself disappointed with Aamal. He stared at her, trying to imagine her as the sweet woman she had been when he first approached her in order to keep himself from letting down Malik just because the woman said a few choice words that Altair completely disagreed with.

The woman would have bore his own child without question, he was sure of that. He need only ask, but the fact that she was demanding payment to do the same for Malik disgusted him. He had always considered Malik to be more handsome than himself and yet this woman was treating him like he was diseased, as if it was something that she would have on her conscious for the remainder of her life.

"You could learn much from my friend. He is wise, kind, and persistent." Altair reprimanded before sighing in obvious displeasure. "I will grant you a house in the village of Masyaf for your services." he said finally. Malik winced at the offer, trying to ignore the fact that Altair was trying his hardest to help him, though he was sure he wasn't going about it the right way. He hoped she would say 'no' if she was only doing it for the house but he feared he was once again denied any foundation for his hope.

"Done." Aamal said immediately, her sweet smile returning to her face as if it had never vanished. She walked over to Malik and guided him away from the garden by his one hand though her touches were very minimal as if she was afraid she'd catch leprosy. Altair watched as his friend vanished from his sight behind a closing door and he hoped he had made the right decision though as every second passed, he became more and more certain that this wasn't a good idea.


	2. Another Attempt at Happiness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Altair finds that his plan to help Malik backfired and Malik is even worse now. Altair finds only one more way to try and make his friend happy.

Altair paced around his desk in thought for what seemed like forever, nervous about the outcome of his decision. Had Malik wanted a child? Surely he did, it seemed exactly like something Malik would want. He glanced out of the window and saw Malik climbing the ladder to the platforms. He glanced at the sun. It hadn't been that long. The sun had barely moved. Had Malik been so desperate for human touch that he was done that quickly? He was determined to find out if he had made a good decision or one that had hurt his friend more than it had helped.

Altair made his way down to the courtyard, climbing the ladders and standing on the platform. He made it just in time to see Malik's climbing technique. It wasn't anywhere as easy as Altair's, and he couldn't help but admire the skill required to climb something that complex with only one arm. Malik's technique required more strength, balance, and flexibility than his own. He only had one arm to pull himself up with so a lot of his climbing required leg strength in lieu of another arm. Malik would pull his knees up close to his chest and then spring higher up once he had a firm balance. It appeared as though Malik was rushing his technique more than he was comfortable with. He was about to make it to the balcony when he suddenly fell. Everything seemed to be in slow motion for both of them as the Rafiq began to plummet towards the river far below them. Thankfully, Malik narrowly missed falling off the cliff into the water below. Altair reacted immediately, descending to the hay below and quickly making his way across the beams to prop Malik into a sitting position. The man was sobbing openly, curling up into a ball again.

"Malik, what's wrong? Did you hurt something?" Altair fretted, resting a hand on Malik's shoulder. Malik shifted away from the touch and Altair frowned, concerned for his shoulder.

"Only my pride and soul..." Malik managed, tears streaming down his face as he covered his mouth to muffle the sounds of misery coming from him. Of course the fall had hurt but Malik didn't feel like he had broken anything. Altair looked at him curiously, guiding him to lean against the wall of the tower and leaning against it himself. 

"What happened?" No answer came from Malik besides the sound of sobs racking his body. Altair was quiet, waiting for Malik to calm himself enough to share his troubles again. He hoped he would. He was afraid that he had betrayed Malik's trust for attempting to solve his problems through a selfish woman.

"It hurts so much..." Altair looked at Malik, completely attentive to his friend's needs, his hands going to Malik's legs to inspect for broken bones.

"What hurts?" Altair feared even more physical injury than just the loss of Malik's left arm. Malik hugged himself tightly after putting his hood on again. 

"I couldn't... I couldn't..." Malik couldn't even say it, though he knew that Altair would be smart enough to catch on to what he was trying to say. It was embarrassing and Altair knew none of these troubles, he was sure of it. Altair was a bit shocked to hear those words, especially with how desperate Malik had sounded for human contact.

"You liked her though. I saw you staring at her." Malik sobbed louder, biting down on his sleeve to keep himself from being too loud. Altair sat there patiently until Malik had calmed down sufficiently again. "What prevented you from... finishing it?"

"I... She was... she was only bedding me for a house... I just... I couldn't... I didn't want..." Malik could barely speak, frazzled from the whole experience. Altair looked at Malik with a soft, sad expression, rubbing Malik's shin. Slowly he moved to hold Malik in his arms, rocking him gently in his arms as a mother might do for her child. Malik, of course, tried to struggle out of the embrace, whether it was because he was uncomfortable with the touch or being babied, Altair didn't know.

"Malik, listen to me. Relax. Find peace in yourself." 

"I cannot!" Malik shouted, crying more. Altair cradled Malik's head and started to sooth him by combing his fingers through Malik's hair. It seemed to be working a bit because Malik stopped struggling away from him.

"I am sorry I forced you into that, Malik..." Altair murmured honestly, holding Malik close to him. Malik was still tense but it was obvious that it felt nice to him to be held like this so Altair continued. Malik found himself crying in Altair's arms, clenching Altair's robes in his fingers until his knuckles were white again. Malik must've cried for hours like that, and Altair was nothing but supportive the whole time, unmoving other than his hands rubbing Malik's back in an attempt to sooth him. Finally, Malik got a hold of himself and his crying subsided little by little. Malik didn't move though, wanting to stay like this a little longer since he had no idea if he'd ever be held like this again. Or touched again for that matter. None of them said anything or moved for what must've been hours but in reality it was only a few minutes.

Finally Altair shifted slightly to look at Malik with a soft expression, still desperately wanting to ease his friend's torment. "I have one more solution we could try. This one won't hurt you like the last..." Malik shook his head, fearing more pain and embarrassment than the last attempt.

"People will always look at me differently, Altair..." 

"This solution doesn't involve people. It only involves helping you see yourself as I see you." Malik raised his eyebrows and looked at Altair questioningly, moving away from his embrace.

"Alright. How do you you see me?" Malik asked, looking down at his lap.

"You are a strong man, wise to many things, with so much compassion that he could alter the way other's think if they listened to you." Altair stated seriously, Malik only scoffed.

"What else?"

"You are skilled, brave, and talented." Altair continued, moving to look Malik in the eyes. "And I care for you deeply, my friend."

"That is very kind of you, Altair." Malik stated, biting his lip. "I care for you deeply as well." An idea came to Altair's mind once more and he questioned whether this one was any better than his last, but he was sure that if this one backfired it would only hurt him instead of Malik.

Altair smiled gently, moving close to Malik and pressed his lips to the Dai's neck in a soft, feather-light kiss. The other man's heart froze, his body melting into the touch but his mind trying to back out, knowing it would be better for both of them if he just said 'no'. "Altair... Wh-what are you doing?"

"I care not if others do not care for you as I do. Can the fact that I alone care for you be enough to give your life more meaning?" he asked, licking over Malik's neck. Malik shivered softly, head tilting on instinct while his fingers loosened and clenched Altair's robes again. God, he felt like an idiot, giving in like this. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes and moaning softly when Altair nibbled lightly on his neck. Malik was embarrassed by the noise that had escaped him without his permission. What was the man doing to him and more importantly, why? Suddenly he pushed the other man away and looked at him suspiciously, curling his arm around himself once more. 

Altair looked at his friend with a soft, even expression, not bothered by Malik's resistance. He would follow each of Malik's wishes to a T but he wondered what had changed in the last few moments. Besides maybe the realization of the fact that they were both men or maybe he wasn't interested in receiving contact like this from Altair. "What's wrong?" Malik was quiet as he tried to find the words he was looking for in his jumbled, messy thoughts. 

"I... Why were you doing that?" 

"You're afraid I have a form of motivation like Aamal." Altair realized and Malik nodded, showing him that he had been right in his revelation. Altair sat next Malik and the Rafiq watched him cautiously, not wanting to be dragged into more anguish. "The only motivation I have for my actions is to see you happy again, even if it's just for a moment."

"Will your actions help you achieve your goal?" Altair smirked, glancing at Malik with an expression that screamed 'do you even need to ask?'

"You would know better than I." He answered coolly, watching Malik with an even, calculating expression. Malik looked at Altair and sighed, tilting his head again. Altair looked at Malik with a questioning gaze, unsure if Malik actually wanted this.

"Go on, before I change my mind..." Altair moved quickly at the verbal permission, planting himself on Malik's lap as he pressed his lips over Malik's neck without any reluctance. Malik seemed to relax a bit after a while, resting his head against the stone wall behind him. Altair rubbed his hands over Malik's chest as his mouth went to play with Malik's earlobe, tugging lightly at it. Malik gasped softly, closing his eyes and finding his hand clinging to Altair's robes again. Altair held the other closer, pressing his lips to Malik's and sucking lightly on his bottom lip. Malik blushed as a mewl escaped his throat again without his permission, closing his eyes and focusing more on ensuring that no more sounds wrenched themselves from his throat.

Altair seemed to be set on the idea of hearing Malik mewl and moan despite the Rafiq's intention to keep his sounds to himself. He moved his mouth back to Malik's neck, sucking lightly on the pulse point and listening as the other couldn't seem to keep down a little hum of approval. Altair thoughtlessly started to work on the clasps on Malik's white robe and he found himself with Malik's hand on his wrist, gripping it tightly. Altair slowly released the robes and Malik did the same with Altair's wrist, relaxing slightly.

"What do you not want me to do?" Altair asked after a moment, deciding it would be safer to know the boundaries before he crossed them. The expression he got from Malik surprised him greatly. Malik's cheeks were tinged light pink, his eyes were hooded and his brown eyes were almost black with how wide Malik's pupils were.

"I..." Malik started, swallowing hard. "I don't know..." he admitted, letting out a shaky breath. Slowly his fingers wrapped around Altair's wrist and all of Altair's attention was brought to that gentle touch as Malik guided his hand back to the top clasp of his robe. He swallowed hard, looking into Malik's eyes to make sure he really wanted this. Malik only nodded, releasing control of Altair's hand back to him. Altair took a deep breath, pressing his lips to Malik's in a deep kiss as he undid the first clasp and started to run his fingers over the bare skin that had been revealed in the action and Malik readily leaned into the touches.

Altair bowed his head down, going to kiss at Malik's now exposed clavicles with a gentleness that Malik had not expected from the man. Malik watched in awe until Altair started to be more rough with his skin, worrying it slightly with his teeth and then he couldn't help but tip his head back in a soft hum. Altair decided he liked the little sounds he was able to pry from Malik, and on the Dai decided it may take a while for him to be acclimated to the new touches enough to be quiet. Altair undid the second of the three clasps on Malik's robe, tracing over the muscles that were revealed with intrigue. Malik raised an eyebrow when he noticed that Altair couldn't take his eyes off of his chest.

"We both know you're much fitter than I am, why are you staring at me like that?" Malik questioned, shifting uneasily. Altair's gaze shifted up and met Malik's dark brown eyes, he could see that his friend was nervous, probably afraid that Altair would do what so many others had done and judge him. No more. Altair pressed a heated kiss to Malik, pushing his back flat against the wall as he undid the last clasp on Malik's robe. Malik let out a surprised squeal, slowly moaning into Altair's mouth as the Grand Master's tongue slipped into his own mouth and claimed it without hesitation.

Altair had one goal: show Malik that he was not a freak or a monster. Malik let out another sound of objection as Altair started to roughly take off all of Malik's robes, forcing what was left of his left arm out in the open. Malik broke the kiss and stared at Altair's face, ready for the man to be just the same as the others now that he had seen the fully healed stub. Altair simply focused his attention on the stump, cupping it gently with one hand and watching as Malik flinched. He glanced at Malik, eyes full of concern for the other man.

"Did I hurt you? Should I stop?" he asked, obviously caring a great deal about whether or not Malik was in pain from his touch. Malik felt a small smile tug at his lip and shook his head, cupping Altair's cheek.

"No, it's... fine..." Malik assured nervously, feeling a little more comfortable now that when he saw Altair's concern. He rested his head against the wall again, closing his eyes. He trusted Altair more than anyone else, and he was certain now that Altair wouldn't judge him. Though the thought still nagged at the back of his mind that the man might judge him, he forced himself to relax none-the-less.

Altair leaned down and started to kiss over the scarred tissue, the most gentle he had ever been in his whole life. Malik jumped slightly, looking down to see Altair kissing his stub without hesitation. His heart began to pound as he stared at Altair with fascination. Altair was so different from the regular person, the kind that liked to remind him that he was different and not in a good way. He was glad that the thoughts he had were not coming true. 

Altair shifted back and forth from the stub to Malik's chest, leaving dark possessive marks on the dark skin of his torso before kissing the stump arm tenderly. Malik felt so... was 'loved' the right word? He hadn't felt like this since long before his wife left with his child. Only Altair could make him feel like he wasn't some sort of deformed weakling in such a way as this. Malik couldn't help but grow hard under Altair's attention and there was no way for him to hide it from him with the man planted on his lap. Altair said nothing though, he only smiled softly and pressed his lips to Malik's in a tender kiss while his hands rested on Malik's hips.

Malik kissed back gently, his fingers going to Altair's hood and slowly pulling it off of his head. Altair smirked and did the same with Malik's hood, breaking the kiss to press closer to the darker man. He held him in his arms silently, and Malik hugged back as best he could, burying his face into Altair's neck. Where would this go from here? Malik did not know, nor could he bring himself to care at the moment because he just felt so good to be touched and held like this. A small smile appeared on his face and it was the most genuine smile he had made in a very, very long time.

He was falling for Altair and the sad part was he knew it and it scared him.


	3. Giving Into Temptation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Much smut. A lot of smut. I regret nothing.

Other than the marks and the kisses, Altair and Malik didn’t really go any further. After all, anyone could look down at them at any time and prosecute them for their 'wicked' ways. Besides, they had responsibilities they couldn’t just abandon for the remainder of the day.

The sun was far lower in the sky when they both returned, though they had decided it would be wiser to return one at a time. Altair returned first, having more responsibilities and a higher rank made it so that people would most likely notice his absence. Malik was no less important but the man usually disappeared for a while anyways and no one but Altair seemed to notice his absence most days. The tension between the both of them when they had both returned to the Grand Master’s study was… unbearably suffocating. Many assassins and trainees who had sought council with the two men chalked it up to Altair finally getting at him for disappearing all the time but in reality both of them were having a hard time focusing on the present when the very recent past was so much more interesting than most of the business Masyaf currently had to offer.

Malik closed his eyes for a moment, finding himself trying to sooth his mind. He was so worked up from Altair’s lips on his chest that when he was talking with Altair he couldn’t stop looking at those lips, at the way Altair’s tongue flicked on certain sounds. He swallowed hard as he could feel his muscles remembering the feeling of Altair’s hands and mouth on him. He shivered and buried his face in the book he had in his hand, trying not to blush. This was wrong. He shouldn't have these feelings for Altair, and yet...

Altair, of course, noticed Malik’s behavior, though Malik would have prefered that the man had been completely oblivious to his process of calming his mind. Malik being so flustered couldn’t have noticed that he was also trying to cope with the memories of their actions. He heard Malik groan into the pages of his book and he clenched his teeth together trying to still himself as a shiver ran up and down his spine, making him think back on all of the sounds Malik had made during their time together earlier. 

Altair took in a deep breath and continued writing whatever it was he had been writing. He forced his mind back on track making sure that he knew exactly what he was working on. It had been report on how a novice was progressing with his training. This document would determine whether or not the young man was ready to move on to apprenticeship. Altair recalled his reckless fighting style in the courtyard earlier today. He wouldn’t last more than two missions in apprenticeship. He was certainly trying hard to make sure that what happened to Kadar never happened to another young assassin. Kadar had been a journeyman and now he was dead because of him. Yes, Altair was being far more careful now. 

Malik honed his focus on Altair’s writing, attempting to find his own distraction from their recent activity. The man was going to end up breaking his quill with the strength he was putting on the tip. He sighed softly and walked up behind the man, leaning over the man and wrapping his fingers around Altair’s hand. Altair tensed slightly, his breath hitching. Once again they were close and Altair felt his pulse quick and his throat go dry. "Mal-"

“Shut up, don’t say a word…” Malik muttered softly with lightly tinged cheeks and Altair relaxed his hands and shoulders slightly. Malik looked at the Grand Master’s handwriting and choked down a laugh. His handwriting was absolutely terrible. It was the messiest work the Rafiq had ever seen.

“What’s so funny, Dai?” Altair asked calmly, looking at Malik with a mild glare. Even though they were alone, Altair kept a certain formality in the Grand Master's study with everyone, even Malik. Malik found the glare to be amusing and smiled.

“You write like a novice.” he answered simply, still trying to stop from giggling. 

“I do not!” Altair protested with an almost childish frown.

“Oh, no?” Malik asked, raising an eyebrow. “Look at the brush strokes, Altair. They are rough and ridged. The letters are supposed to be smooth and flowing. Imagine that the words are bodies of waters, can you do that?”

“What relevance would that possibly have?” Altair questioned, looking at Malik with disbelief.

“Just look, listen, and try your best to retain as much information as you can, Master.” Malik murmured, gently taking the quill from Altair and writing a sentence on a different piece of paper. 

_Nothing is true, everything is permited_

Malik’s writing was neat and perfect in comparison to Altair’s, not only that but the speed of his writing was similar in perfection to a master swordsman. Everything that Malik did, he did with perfection and grace. It almost made Altair feel insufficient as the Grand Master. Malik brought him out of his thoughts.

“Compare our writing, yours is like a shallow river with many rapids. It’s choppy and rigid and difficult to navigate. I can read it well enough but people who are not so skilled at reading, for example Rauf, would have difficulty reading your writing and possibly assume the wrong decision.” Altair nodded slowly, focused on his own handwriting with pink tinted cheeks. The blush was partly from the embarrassment as Malik picked away at all of the flaws in his writing and the other part was from the proximity of the Dai.

“I think I understand your comparison, Dai.” Altair said after a moment, biting his lip as he choked down some embarrassment.

“Good. Now, turn your attention to my writing.” Malik murmured, pressing closer so he could point out specific details on his own work. “Notice the smooth texture of the ink, how easily the words and letters are to make out. It’s like a lake; calm and serene. Every detail is easy to understand and process.” Altair nodded in agreement, feeling the now dried ink on the paper with the tips of his fingers. Malik had been right, it was much smoother in comparison to his own. 

“Now that you understand the difference in our techniques, shall we work on refining yours?” Malik asked, returning the quill to Altair’s hand. Altair nodded quietly, deciding he liked the feeling of Malik so close to him and if it meant that he could continue having him at such a close proximity, he'd be glad to improve his writing skills. If anyone walked in, it was a valid excuse that Malik was only teaching him how to write properly. “Let’s start with how you hold your quill. First, hold the quill by the lower part of the shaft with the tips of your thumb and index finger.” Altair did as told and Malik smiled softly. “Gently.” Malik guided and Altair loosened his grip.

“Next let the vane of the feather rest against the spot between the two fingers.” It felt odd compared to gripping the quill in his fist but at the same time, it was more natural. And it was more comfortable. “Good, now, tuck the remaining fingers in so they rest under your palm.” Malik smiled as he looked at Altair’s grip, inspecting it carefully to help his friend improve as much as possible with a keen eye. Altair was a rather good listener when he wanted to be.

“Does grip really matter all that much?” 

“Surprisingly, yes. This grip helps you hold the quill at the correct angle needed to write effectively. It will make the strokes smoother and cleaner.” Malik answered. “Shall we look at it in the same manner as swordplay?” Altair thought about it. That may actually help, though again he was wondering how Malik would be able to connect the to activities with words. He nodded. 

“You do not hold your sword in your first, there is a natural way that the hilt fits into your hand which promotes balance and better strength.” Altair nodded in understanding. “The same applies to quills." Malik explained, resting his hand on the desk.

“Dip your quill in the ink and begin writing.” Altair did as told and once again Malik was fairly attentive to Altair’s actions. “Do not press your quill into the paper as you would an assassination target to a wall. The quill is fragile. Compare it instead to… a lover, I suppose would be a good comparison.” Malik muttered with a blush. Altair paused in his writing, memories of earlier flashing through his mind again. He swallowed hard, trying to remain calm despite his body's excitement. Malik was remembering the very same thing and they could both tell what the other was thinking of by the pink shading both of their cheeks. 

“How is it like a lover?” Altair asked, putting a lot effort into keeping his voice even.

“Well…” Malik began, treading carefully to not trap himself in a conversation he would regret. Perhaps a conversation that would confirm whether or not they were going to ever repeat the actions from earlier today. “With a lover, you are more gentle than you are with an enemy. If you are pushing an enemy against a wall, it is rough and strong. There is a gentleness when faced with the same situation with a lover… A passion to it…” 

Altair looked over at Malik and swallowed heavily, licking his lips slowly. There were times when Malik still absolutely hated Altair and this had to be one of those times. He hated when he stared into those molten gold eyes and he felt all of his strong inhibitions melt away as if they were nothing. Slowly, almost instinctively, their faces drifted closer and closer together as if both were daring each other to pull away first. Neither did.

Malik was the first to give in, cupping Altair’s cheek and kissing him hungrily. Altair did not hold back any response though, kissing back with the same hunger. Once again Malik found himself with Altair’s hands all over him as if the man was desperate for him. In spite of wanting to continue, Malik pulled away slowly and Altair had to stop himself from following after his lips. Anyone could walk in at anytime, and it would mean much more than their positions, it would mean their lives if they were caught.

“What is wrong, Malik?” the Grand Master asked with concern, locking gazes with Malik. It was obvious that the Dai had been enjoying himself so he was concerned that the man had stopped, especially when Altair had been enjoying it just as much.

“It’s just… This is a very… public place…” he murmured, shifting awkwardly. Altair froze and then nodded in agreement.

“Do you want to continue this ‘conversation’ somewhere a little more private, Dai?” He asked, adding a little distance between the two of them. Malik paused. God or Allah, did he want to. It was wrong of him, he knew, but it felt so right. He nodded after a minute, smiling at the Grand Master.

“Where shall we meet?” 

“Let’s meet… in my quarters. Arrive before me and no one will ever notice that we’re alone together.” Altair suggested in a low whisper, quiet enough that only the man next to him would hear. Malik smiled, his heart beating faster in his chest. 

“Until ‘tomorrow’, Master.” he murmured, turning on heel and striding quickly down the stairs and to the Grand Master’s room. He was giddy, practically hopping with each step. Yes, what they were doing may have been very wrong to all gods, but that wasn’t enough to make Malik want to stop. He just hoped that it wouldn’t want to make Altair stop too.

Altair finished the paper he had been working on before Malik had tutored him, focusing more carefully on the strokes and grip of his quill. Once it was finished, he made his way to his room, not sure what he was expecting to see when he arrived. Slowly he opened the door and entered his room. He smiled softly at the sight that was waiting for him.

Malik was curled up on his bed, half dressed and sleeping calmly. Altair took off his heavy robes and moved to lay down with the other man, curling around him and relaxing as he held Malik close. The darker man stirred slowly and rolled over to wrap his arm around Altair in return.

“I didn’t think I was gone long enough for you to fall asleep.” Altair murmured with a little surprise in his voice. 

“I don’t think you were, I just… I guess I was a bit tired from crying…” Malik replied sleepily, rubbing his eyes and cuddling closer. 

“Do you want to sleep?” 

“No.” 

Altair smiled, kissing down Malik’s jawline and sucking feather light marks on Malik’s neck. They would be gone long before the man left this room. And even if they had been darker, Malik’s skin wouldn’t have shown them at all. The man leaned into Altair’s mouth, his arm snaking around the other man’s neck pulling him closer in encouragement. His fingers tangled into Altair's short hair, encouraging the man to continue.

Altair’s hands were on Malik’s hips as he made sure that he covered all of Malik’s neck and shoulders with kisses. Malik was melting under the attentions, enjoying each touch of Altair’s lips against his skin more than he probably should though Altair looked like he was enjoying giving the attentions just as much as he was enjoying receiving them. Malik closed his eyes, leaning into Altair’s lips.

One of the Master Assassin’s hands moved to palm Malik through his trousers which caused a moan to erupt from his lips. He blushed brightly, brown eyes fluttering open to stare into those hypnotizing gold ones. 

“Shall I continue?” Altair asked with caution. Malik nodded enthusiastically.

“If you don’t, you’ll find yourself one hand shorter.” Altair chuckled at the man's halfhearted threat and started to rub Malik’s member, once again making the Dai moan happily. Malik’s hand went to the waistline of Altair’s trousers, the tips of his fingers slipping under the coarse fabric teasingly. The growl that rumbled between their lips caused a shiver down Malik’s spine and he slipped his hand into Altair’s trousers entirely and wrapped his fingers around the man’s hardening arousal.

A small moan ripped from Altair’s throat and he looked at Malik with hooded eyes, kissing him hungrily as he returned the favor by wrapping his own fingers around Malik’s arousal once his hand was under the waistband. The kiss grew heated at they both started to stroke each other, tongues battling for the dominance of the kiss. Altair found himself on his back with Malik straddling his thighs and he couldn’t help but smirk at the gorgeous look of the disheveled Dai. He leaned up and kissed Malik a little more tenderly. 

Malik would have dominance this time around Altair decided, cupping the man’s cheek and looking into those deep, brown eyes. He bit his lip softly, holding Malik close.

“What do you want to do?” Altair asked, pressing their foreheads together. Malik’s smirk made him a bit nervous but also very excited. 

Malik ground their hips together, moaning softly and wrapping his arm around Altair’s neck. Altair moaned too. They were still completely clothed from the waist down but the friction was divine. He closed his eyes and nibbled gently on Malik’s bottom lip as the man continued to grind down against him.

“Oh, Malik… this... this feels amazing...” he murmured, cupping the man’s face and kissing him with a tenderness he didn’t know was in him. Malik kissed back, running his fingers through Altair’s hair slowly before deciding that their trousers were completely useless now. Pushing Altair down and smirking and kissing him hard, Malik started to quickly strip Altair of the remainder of his clothing. 

Altair laid down on the straw mattress, completely exposed under Malik’s intense gaze. He shifted slightly as Malik’s eyes combed over him like one of his record books, feeling just a touch uncomfortable. What was on the man's mind? Malik pressed a kiss to Altair’s chest, rubbing over the toned muscles until the Grand Master relaxed again. 

“Do you want me to stop?” Malik asked softly, a soft yet concerned expression on his face as he waited for Altair’s answer. Altair shook his head fervently . 

“If you do, you’ll find yourself one hand shorter.” he muttered and Malik giggled, kissing Altair hard. He held the other close, kissing his way down Altair’s chest. Altair closed his eyes, focusing on the feeling of Malik’s lips on his skin. It was still strange but he was starting to be a little more comfortable with being touched, losing control of the situation. 

Suddenly, Altair’s eyes were wide open and he found a moan leaving his throat without his control. Malik’s lips were wrapped around the head of his cock and it took him completely by surprise. He looked at Malik and moaned, tipping his head back. Malik looked Altair in the eyes, sucking lightly and causing the other man to close his eyes again with another soft moan. 

Slowly Malik’s mouth slid further and further down his shaft until his lips were touching the skin of his abdomen, making Altair breathless. He opened his eyes once more and looked at Malik with intrigue, moaning at the sight before him. He never imagined he could be this attracted to the sight of Malik sucking his cock but here he was, harder than he’d ever been before. That fact alone surprised him. Sure, Malik was attractive but being this hard because of that? It didn’t make sense to him.

A sharp inhale and quick suck let Altair know he’d been thinking too much because now his mind was only filled with Malik. Malik looked at Altair and the look in his eyes was unmistakable. He was practically smirking without his mouth. Before Altair could brace himself for whatever Malik had planned, Malik was bobbing his head and Altair was once again was a moaning mess squirming on the bed of straw.

Malik took each of Altair’s movements as encouragement and he started to suck more enthusiastically when he felt Altair’s fingers in his hair. Altair couldn’t seem to control half of his movements or sounds, especially when he felt Malik’s tongue against any particularly sensitive veins up and down his shaft. Altair’s hips would jerk and Malik would almost choke on the man’s member the first few times it happened. 

Altair found himself close like an immature virgin and he was slightly embarrassed about it. Still, he wanted to warn Malik so he didn’t choke the Dai. 

“Ma-Oh… Malik… I-Ah! I’m cl-close!” Altair managed through a series of moans. He was carefully to keep semi quiet, knowing that others wouldn’t understand if they came to check on their Grand Master and found him sprawled out on his bed with Malik’s head between his legs.

Malik didn’t seem to mind at all that Altair was close. In fact, he took it as a compliment, starting to massage Altair’s balls with his thumb, causing the other’s breath to hitch and his hips to jerk as he climaxed. The Dai handled it extremely well, carefully avoiding choking with a well timed head bob and then swallowing all the seed that Altair had to offer.

Altair laid there dazed as he tried to recollect any remainder of his sense, panting heavily as Malik returned to kissing Altair’s chest. Malik had enjoyed every moment of this evening since the more intimate side of their relationship was born. He was looking at Altair with a satisfied smirk. Altair could almost feel the smirk on Malik’s face and one appeared on his own as well. 

Malik found himself on his back with Altair looming over him, a knee pressed firmly between his legs against his groin and his one arm pinned over his head.

“...Altair?” Malik asked nervously, gasping as Altair’s knee rubbed against his groin. He forgot his nervousness through the pleasure of the friction. “You’d better continue that…” 

“Or what?” Altair asked with a smirk, licking over Malik’s neck slowly.

“Or I’ll make you one hand shorter.” Malik muttered and both of them were taken by a fit of giggles. When the giggles finally settled down again, Altair kissed Malik passionately and the kiss left both of them dizzy. Altair only broke the kiss when he needed air, staring at a disheveled Malik while they both panted heavily.

Altair rolled Malik onto his stomach, molding him so that he was his hips were in the air and making sure the man was carefully balanced. Malik looked back at Altair with a nervous expression etched on his face. 

“...Altair?”

“Trust me.” Malik nodded slowly, feeling Altair’s hands pull his trousers down so that they pooled around his knees. Malik still watched Altair wearily over his shoulder, not sure what the other had planned. Altair massaged Malik’s arse gently, making the Dai blush slightly. 

Slowly Altair moved to sit between Malik’s legs, leaning down and kissing the small of Malik’s back. He was trying his best to trust Altair’s judgement but he still found himself to be very nervous. 

“If you want me to stop, only speak.” Altair murmured, sucking a light mark on Malik’s back. Malik relaxed slightly. He didn’t say anything though, afraid that Altair would stop before he knew what exactly he was doing. 

Malik felt Altair’s kisses go lower and lower and his face flushed. Was Altair about to do what Malik was thinking he was going to do? He suddenly felt Altair’s tongue against his entrance and he jerked slightly out of the touches.

“It seems that I have crossed a line, should I stop?”

“No. Apologies, I was just a little surprised…” Malik murmured, blushing brightly. “...Continue… please...” Altair did exactly that, rubbing Malik’s thighs as his tongue flickered over the puckered hole again. Malik closed his eyes and just tried his best to relax. Altair was aware of Malik’s current anxiety about the situation and wrapped one of his hands around the man’s member, stroking him slowly as he lapped at the man’s entrance. 

Malik gasped softly when he felt Altair’s fingers on his cock, closing his eyes and just giving into the sensations that the Grand Master’s tongue and hand provided. He was actually fairly surprised that he was enjoying this far more than he thought he would. The tongue teasing at his entrance pulled him out of his thoughts and he let out a soft moan when Altair distracted him once more by thumbing over the slit of his member.

His cock was leaking and Altair used it to his advantage, stroking him easily with the natural lubrication. It had to be obvious to the both of them that they were enjoying this. Without warning, Altair pressed a finger inside Malik until it slid in and Malik yelped, partly because of pain but mostly surprise. 

“Did I hurt you?” 

“Only a little…”

“Do you still want me to continue?” Malik was quiet as he thought. Finally, he decided that there couldn’t be much more pain in any of this situation. He nodded slowly, clenching his teeth in preparation for whatever pain happened next.

Altair slowly started to move his finger in and out of Malik and the Dai found that when he forced himself to relax there was less pain. His eyes were wide open as he was suddenly spurting all over the clothes under his hips. Altair had hit something very pleasurable inside him and it caused his climax to happen far sooner than he had been prepared for it. He laid on the bed with Altair smirking over him, slowly pulling out his finger and cuddling around him. They traded gentle kisses for a moment while Malik attempted to stop his head from spinning before Altair broke their kisses and smiled.

“And you call me the novice.” he teased playfully.


	4. The Unthinkable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Malik and Altair spend the morning exploring each other's bodies. Later Malik disappears and Altair finds a mysterious note.

Altair woke to a shifting next to him. He didn't know who or what it was. His hand immediately went to the knife under his pillow and he pulled it out, holding it against the mysterious stranger in his bed as he pinned him in place.

"Sh-Shit! Altair!" Malik exclaimed and Altair's facial expression softened but he didn't remove the knife, only pulling it away from the darker man's skin. 

"Malik... I'm sorry... I didn't realize that it was you..."

"Who did you think it was?" Malik asked exasperatedly. Altair only shrugged, kissing Malik's hair behind his ear. "Will you at least take that knife and put it away?"

"I don't think I will..." Altair said decidedly, kissing the back of Malik's neck.

In their current position, Malik was flat on his stomach with a knife pressed to the side of his neck, Altair squarely on top of him pinning Malik with his free arm and legs. Altair glanced down to see the curve of the Dai's bare arse and his cock twitched at the sight. He pressed hot, open-mouthed kisses to Malik's neck, sucking lightly.

"A-Altair..?" Malik stammered, a blush creeping over his face. He turned his head to look at the man on top of him, only to find Altair gently grabbing his jaw and forcing his head back to its original position.

"Mmm... Malik..." the Grand Master whispered, starting to grind his member against Malik's arse. In turn the Rafiq of Jerusalem moaned quietly, burying his face into Altair's pillow. He could feel himself getting hard under the man's movements. He shouldn't have been aroused by this but he couldn't help it. Altair pinning him like this was so sensual and he couldn't seem to find the will to mind because his brain had stopped working the moment Altair's dick started rubbing against his arse.

"Oh, god, please don't stop..." Malik whispered, blushing brightly and shifting under the man to encourage him. Altair drank the encouragement up like he was dying of thirst and Malik had offered him water instead, precum leaking from his member as he continued to grind against Malik's toned arse.

The friction Altair was getting from rolling his hips against Malik was heavenly but he knew the Dai wasn't getting the same pleasure because of the position he was in. That simply could not be allowed to continue. Altair took the knife that was still in his hands and threw it against the shelf on the other side of his room so that he could mold Malik into a better position. The man's chest was now pressed against the straw mattress with his hips up in the air and his leg's spread just enough that Altair could do whatever he pleased.

Malik wasn't sure what Altair's intentions were, but he knew well enough that he was in good hands. He glanced at the knife now sticking out of the shelf and a hint of a smile appeared on his face. He was about to say something but all thoughts that he had had vanished the moment he felt a tongue against his entrance and a hand around his cock. God, it was sexy, but it was also despicably filthy, and yet it only made him harder.

Altair tongued the puckered hole with enthusiasm, stroking Malik to keep him occupied so that the darker skinned man couldn't have the time to complain, should he choose to. After a moment longer, Malik had no need to guess the Grand Master's intention because he knew without a doubt what he wanted the moment he felt a finger slide inside him. There was a sting from the stretch but it wasn't something that Malik considered to be entirely unpleasant. He took a deep breath, getting ready to reprimand Altair for not even warning or asking him, when the finger suddenly brushed against something inside him that made him let out a groan into the pillow.

It was frustrating, having Altair practically read his thoughts and then change his mind in a simple action or sentence. The trouble the could get in together only added to the pleasure high that fogged the Rafiq's mind. Altair of course noticed the man's change in demeanor when he had moved his finger against the walls of Malik's arse and he decided to repeat the gesture. Every time he brushed Malik's prostate, the man would give either an approving hum or and quiet but lewd moan.

Malik was considering that maybe he had misread what it was Altair was after since he hadn't done much but tease the sweet spot inside him, but the moment he felt another finger slide inside him, he hissed, burying his face in the pillow to keep quiet. Altair seemed patient enough though, he didn't make any quick movements. When he had decided that Malik had adjusted to the stretch enough, he continued to probe the bundle of nerves that he had discovered inside the man and he began to relax again, making it easier to stretch the Dai without causing him any discomfort.

The moment Altair's fingers moved in and out of him, separating slowly to stretch him, Malik's head started spinning. He let out a small gasp, grabbing a fist full of the blanket messily strewn over the bed. Despite the discomfort he had felt several time this morning already, he couldn't help but be a tiny bit pleased by house gentle a lover Altair could be at times. Still, something felt like it was missing.

"Altair, you had better put another finger inside me or so help me god- Oh!" Malik let out a little yelp of surprise when Altair had followed his directions before he could finish whatever threat he had be planning to make. Again, it took him a moment to adjust but Altair didn't seem to mind, instead pressing soothing kisses to the small of his back to encourage him to relax, which surprisingly worked. Altair pumped his fingers inside Malik, always aiming for his prostate.

After a moment, Altair withdrew his fingers and Malik immediately felt their absence. He glance over his shoulder at the man, only to be greeted by those enchanting molten gold eyes staring at him as he lined up their hips. Malik swallowed thickly, turning his head back to look at the wall, unsure that he wanted to think about what was about to happen, how Altair was going to use his body to chase after his own pleasure. His vision filled with stars as he felt Altair push inside him with one fluid movement and he let out a little whine as he adjusted to the sensation.

Malik had expected to dislike the feeling of Altair's shaft inside him, but truthfully, he didn't. In fact, he might even go as far as to say he liked it better than the man's fingers. True, the stretch was far more than the three fingers that the Grand Master had prepped him with, but lack of fingernails made the experience slightly more pleasant. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes before giving a nod. Altair found himself shocked by the warmth and tightness of Malik around his dick. It took him several moments to find the control to not fuck the man senseless in that moment but he didn't want to break the trust Malik had given him, nor did he want to hurt the man more than he already had. The moment he saw that nod though, a small smirk appeared on his lips and he pulled out until only the head of his cock was still inside the man before sliding back in.

Malik groaned, once again hiding his face in a pillow. It wasn't unpleasant but it wasn't overly enjoyable either. If he hadn't been using his only arm for balance, he would've stroked himself so that he might enjoy this more. There was no need for that though, because Altair shifted the angle slightly and his member brushed against the man's sweet spot and he moaned happily. He didn't need to tell Altair to do that again because the man was already in the process of repeating the action.

Heat was coiling in Malik's stomach, causing his his head to spin as Altair fucked him. Despite the day before he had been ready to believe that the master assassin was going to focus on chasing his own pleasure and not on his, but he couldn't deny how wrong he'd been, especially once Altair's hand wrapped around his cock and began stroking him to the pace of his thrusts. Before he could even think about it, he was coming over Altair's fingers with a gasp as he he tried his best to be quiet. Altair couldn't think the moment Malik clenched around him and he rutted against the Rafiq as his seed spurted deep inside him.

Altair slumped down on top of Malik and they both just laid there as their vision returned to normal and they caught their breath. Altair had never felt like this with anyone. He pressed a gentle kiss to Malik's neck, wrapping his arms around Malik's stomach to hold him close. Malik was still dazed when Altair kissed his skin and he shifted his hips with a moan as his memory was brought back to how sensitive he was feeling.

"Holy shit..." the Dai mumbled, tilting his head for Altair. "I had no idea that would feel that way..."

"Did it feel alright? I didn't hurt you?" Altair asked, concerned. Malik felt the man's hold on him grow protective.

"It was amazing, you're amazing." Malik admitted with a light blush. A small smile bloomed across Altair's lips.

"No, Malik, you are the incredible one." Altair whispered, resting his head against Malik's.

"We had best get dressed and go about our day..." Malik's suggestion was heeded with a disappointed grunt as Altair pulled out of the Rafiq, causing both of them to moan. Altair grabbed his trousers off the floor and put them on, looking at the sight of Malik laying on his stomach. It took a moment for Malik to get up. He felt a little sore but it wasn't unpleasant, in fact it was a sensation he could easily become accustomed to.

Altair put on his robes before pressing his lips to Malik's and leaving the room without a word. After a while, Malik stood and put his own clothes on before sneaking out of Altair's room and heading over to the Grand Master's office. There was an unusual silence between Dai and Grand Master as they went about their business but it wasn't uncomfortable. On the contrary, the silence was a happy one that neither of them seemed willing to break. Eventually, a young assassin came to the study and handed Malik a note. His expression changed and he looked over at Altair.

Altair's attention was buried in his work as he wrote instruction after instruction on how Masyaf was to be run and whether or not assassin's would be moving up in ranks. Instead of disturbing the man, Malik simply saw himself out quietly.

It was another hour before Altair even realized that Malik was no where to be seen. He set down his quill and quietly called Malik's name but he received no response. Altair's brow furrowed and he stood up to wander Masyaf in search of the man. He did not find him in the tower like he had yesterday. And he was also absent from both of their rooms. When he had searched all of Masyaf without success, he returned to his study, a little discouraged by Malik's absence. That was when he saw it. A note.

_Altair. If you want to see the Rafiq of Jerusalem alive again, travel to Damascus immediately. Time is of the essence. The longer I wait, the more hurt he will become._

Altair felt his heart stop. He threw off his heavy robes as he ran out to the edge of town. He got on a horse and ignored the questions of the stable boy, charging towards the direction of Damascus. Soldiers chased him through the countryside but eventually gave up the chase when Altair wouldn't give his horse a rest. He rushed through the gates, avoiding colliding with people as he searched everywhere for a sign that Malik was there. Eventually, he came to the forts that he had infiltrated what felt like a lifetime ago. He walked through the doors of the despicable building and saw nothing. When he walked into the next room, the door slammed shut behind him and he turned to look but no one was there.

Swallowing hard, he turned back around and noticed a small trail of blood in the dim light. His eyes followed it to the shadows and then he heard a voice he was certain he would never hear again.


	5. Love, Loss, Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Altair is forced to fight with an old enemy in order to protect and rescue Malik in a grueling and unfair battle.

That voice shouldn't be possible. The man was dead. Altair had killed him himself. He knew this man without any doubt was dead. That didn't seem to stop him from striding out of the shadows with a smirk on his lips beneath his long white beard. He knew he should've burned the man's corpse. Al Mualim. How was it possible? Had he used the apple to fake his death? He didn't seem like he had had the time, but here the man stood, taunting him with his smug grin.

"Altair. I didn't expect you to show up so quickly." Al Mualim smirked, pulling a mostly limp man from the shadows. It took a moment for Altair to recognize him with all the blood, but it was without any doubt in Altair's mind, Malik "You must really feel lost without him to help you along with his wisdom."

Malik looked up at Altair with a defeated expression. The heartache Altair felt seeing Malik like this, matched the Dai's dread at seeing that Altair had come for him like Al Mualim suggested he would. He would have preferred that Altair had just left him to die, not because he stilled wished for death. He did not, but because he could see no positive outcome of this turn of events. Altair was not as armed as he had been before becoming Grand Master, had not been practicing his swordsmanship for the past months, and was faced with the surprise of a man he thought was dead being very much still alive, and the shock of seeing him like this.

The once proud Rafiq of Jerusalem looked nothing like his usual self. Every movement was slow and small, full of doubt and fear. He had a large gash on his forehead where blood had been flowing down into his eyes. It seemed like his only arm had probably been badly broken and it wasn't a far stretch to say that he was missing his ring finger. He was wearing only his trousers and it was easy to see the deep cuts that had been made all over his torso.

Altair felt himself boil up with rage. He hadn't taken that long to find Malik. How could Al Mualim do so much damage in only a span of mere hours? He felt the sting of regret. He should've noticed the moment Malik had disappeared. He had the chance to prevent this and he had failed in every way possible. He drew his sword, glaring at the old man in front of him.

"It is not I, who appears to be lost, Al Mualim." Altair said defiantly. Al Mualim simply continued to smirk. "I am here to save my friend. You are a lingering menace that has no reason to still live."

"Come, Altair, this petty feud between us is pointless."

"It has never been pointless." Altair stated seriously, glaring at the previous Grand Master. "You sought to control the people of Masyaf and then the world. Everyone deserves the chance for freedom. Had that alone not caused my rebellion against you, you hurting Malik like you have is unacceptable. I can never forgive you."

"I didn't realize you cared so much for the people around you. Most would call that weakness, Altair."

"I consider it strength. My friendships as well as the innocent lives of people I've never met gives me the courage I need to stand up against men filled with evil and corruption, like yourself." Altair swung his sword towards Al Mualim's left shoulder, but found his sword was blocked by one that seemingly appeared out of no where in the old man's right hand.

Al Mualim made no movement to fight, simply standing there with an amused expression and a fist full of Malik's hair, much to the chagrin of Altair. The sooner he separated Al Mualim from Malik, the sooner he could stop holding back and actually kill the man.

"What I don't understand is what you're doing still alive."

"Did you think I couldn't continue the illusion of my death without The Apple in my hand? I let it roll away on purpose."

"You lost The Apple in exchange for your life. I was sure you would've rather died than given it up."

"I'm confident that I can get The Apple back. I wouldn't have let it go if I had doubts."

"Your miscalculation is unfortunate. I'm going to make sure you never get your hands on it again." Altair once again swung his sword only to have the attack parried. He did feel some sense of victory when Al Mualim shoved Malik away aggressively. Malik took the opportunity to scamper away to the edge of the shadows, not wanting to be in the way. Altair was given a chance to free them both from the clutches of their previous master and he wasn't going to accidentally ruin it by causing Altair to stumble over him.

Al Mualim stepped closer to Altair with an unsettling sneer and Altair gripped the hilt of his sword more firmly, knowing now that the old man was going to fight more seriously. He couldn't afford to lose his sword swaggering around being cocky. Those days were all behind him anyways.

Still the dead man walking seemed to enjoy the torment that he had caused both Malik and Altair, and it was sickening to know he could have such an effect on both of them. Altair was disturbed by all of the pain and injury he had caused Malik in the last few hours and all the more damage he would've done had he not arrived sooner. Malik was in pain, yes, and that was not exactly how he had wanted to spend the rest of the day, but his concerns lie with the man he had grown to respect and, dare he say it... love...

Without any warning the two armed men were suddenly in a heated battle, clashing arms. Each blow was parried and return, each feint calculated and defended with quick movements as the two master swordsmen attempted to destroy one another once and for all. There were lunges from each man as the other backed one into a corner only for the cornered man to grow confident and push back until the process repeated once more.

Malik could only watch in awe. It looked like two Gods dancing a ballet so dangerous that the only outcome could be death. The intense ferocity in Altair's eyes awoke a nameless fear in his soul and it was quite possibly the first time he had really been afraid of anything. He had not known fear until that moment. All anxiety he had experienced before seeing the cold and calculated hollowness in Altair's pupils seemed trivial. Truly, he had never seen Altair filled with such hate, such rage, and such a desire to kill. It made the hair on his body stand on end and sent blood-chilling shivers down his spine.

Never before had he seen a man fight with such passion as Altair did in those moments. Altair was undoubtedly a man fighting for a reason. He wasn't playing around like Al Mualim seemed to be, blocking each of Altair's slashes with disinterested air. Finally a hit was landed. Altair had managed to break through Al Mualim's defenses but no damage was done, except to the whiting beard as a large portion of it drifted to the floor. Now there was a similar hatred in Al Mualim's eyes and once again Malik found himself feeling unsettled.

The two men charged at one another, swords clashing in front of their faces as one Grand Master glared at another sneering one. The longer the swords scraped against each other the sicker the Dai felt. Something wasn't quite right. He looked around the mostly dark room but could not sense the presence of anyone but the three men already accounted for.

With a quick moment, Altair jumped in front of Malik and the room filled with the cry of a man in agony.

"Altair!" the scream ripped from Malik's throat causing his voice to become hoarse. And then there was a sickening silence as the man he had shouted the name of simply stood there. Al Mualim seemed distraught as he walked out of the building quickly to mount the horse Altair had come on and ride to Masyaf to find The Apple. "Altair?"

Malik's voice was filled with uncertainty. Al Mualim would not have left unless he was sure the battle was won but the man he admired was still on his feet.

Once Altair was certain that Al Mualim wasn't going to return to the room, he collapsed, falling back and gripping his side. It was easy to see the scarlet that stained his white shirt even in the dim light. Malik scooted to the man quickly, holding up Altair's head. A soft smile came to the wounded man's lips.

"Are you alright?" Altair asked, pulling the dagger out of his stomach and throwing it to the side. He let out a gasp, groaning and letting his head rest on Malik's lap.

"Nothing that won't heal. You're such an idiot!" Malik muttered, tears welling up in his eyes. He was pressing his broken hand into Altair's wound to prevent him from bleeding any further. "Why would you jump in front of me to save my life?"

"You're my strength..." Altair said quietly, swallowing uncomfortably. "I couldn't imagine a world without you... And I don't want to."

"Selfish bastard. What about making me live in a world without you?"

"I didn't realize you cared so much..."

"Of course I care!" Malik protested, tears rolling down his cheeks. He couldn't believe that Altair was laying on his lap dying! It didn't seem possible. He'd been so strong only a few moments before. "You could've beaten him. I don't matter. Who is going to be in charge of Masyaf?"

"I could've beaten him." Altair agreed, staring at Malik. He lifted his hand to wipe away Malik's tears. "But a victory against him without you would be meaningless. You mean too much to me. Al Mualim could see that the only way to kill me was to make me sacrifice my own life. He took a calculated risk and he was right..."

Malik bit his lip, looking down at his friend. He leaned down a pressed a tender kiss to Altair's lips and Altair kissed back weakly. "...I love you..."

"I love you too, Malik..." Altair whispered hoarsely, looking at Malik with a pleasant expression. He never felt so tranquil before and it wasn't at all a bad way to feel with death drawing so near. He drew in one last breath and the light faded from his eyes as his body went limp against Malik's. Malik felt like his heart was being squeezed tightly in his chest, making it hard to breathe as tears began flowing freely down his face.

Sobs racked Malik's body despite his few cracked ribs and he buried his face into the dead man's chest, clutching his shirt in his broken fist. He kept shouting Altair's name until his voice finally broke and his throat was so strained that any sound retched from it was nothing but a quiet squeak. Altair loved him back and now the only man who could ever see past his missing limb to a promising future for him was gone.

Hours had passed with Malik crying into Altair's shirt, soaking it in more than just blood. He wasn't aware how much of an exertion the day had provided and it wasn't long at all before he fell asleep against Altair's corpse, restless but too tired to carry on.

\------

Malik couldn't seem to quite drift back to consciousness because he was lulled into a more peaceful sleep by something pleasant. A steady heartbeat under his ear and the sensation of slow breathing shifting him rhythmically back and forth. Somewhere distantly he heard a voice he didn't recognize in an accent he was even less familiar with.

"What the bloody hell?! Guys, are you seeing this?!"

"Yeah. It's real bizarre... What do you make of it, Desmond?

"I have no idea but something tells me that we should probably get them into some beds..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you worried about the abrupt ending of this work, worry not. Altair and Malik's story will resume in part four of the series: Animus United. Do not hate me, I've had this planned out from the beginning and I promise that the series as a whole has a very positive ending. Stay tuned, I love you all dearly. If you don't ship Leo/Ezio and Shawn/Desmond, please just skip to part four when it comes out. There will still be romantic interactions between all of the couples but part four is mostly action oriented.


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